


Kylo's Obsession

by ravensandviolins



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Affairs, Dark Kylo Ren, Dominant Kylo Ren, Dubious Consent, Emotional Roller Coaster, F/M, Jealous Kylo Ren, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Kylo stalks reader, Obsessive Kylo Ren, Possessive Kylo Ren, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Slow Build, Stalking, Trust Issues, dubcon, some Stockholm Syndrome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-10
Updated: 2017-07-19
Packaged: 2018-11-30 09:25:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 16,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11460717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ravensandviolins/pseuds/ravensandviolins
Summary: Rejection hurts. Just ask Kylo Ren. When Kylo's wife was caught cheating on him with a former employee, Kylo develops trust issues after the divorce. When you join First Order Commerce as his personal assistant, Kylo begins to seemingly open up to the idea of being involved with another, once more. However, reminders of his ex wife's affair start to surface and send him spiraling out of control, mentally and emotionally, and you become the target and outlet for those reminders as he begins to stalk and harass you; no one leaves Kylo Ren.





	1. You Are An Obsession

**Author's Note:**

> Obsession by Animotion
> 
> You are an obsession  
> I cannot sleep  
> I am your possession  
> Unopened at your feet  
> There's no balance  
> No equality  
> Be still I will not accept defeat  
> I will have you  
> Yes, I will have you  
> I will find a way and I will have you  
> Like a butterfly  
> A wild butterfly  
> I will collect you and capture you  
> You are an obsession  
> You're my obsession  
> Who do you want me to be  
> To make you sleep with me  
> You are an obsession  
> You're my obsession  
> Who do you want me to be  
> To make you sleep with me  
> I feed you I drink you  
> My day and my night  
> I need you I need you  
> By sun or candlelight  
> You protest  
> You want to leave  
> Stay  
> Oh, there's no alternative  
> Your face appears again  
> I see the beauty there  
> But I see danger  
> Stranger beware  
> A circumstance  
> In your naked dreams  
> Your affection is not what it seems  
> You are an obsession  
> You're my obsession  
> Who do you want me to be  
> To make you sleep with me  
> You are an obsession  
> You're my obsession  
> Who do you want me to be  
> To make you sleep with me  
> My fantasy has turned to madness  
> And all my goodness  
> Has turned to badness  
> My need to possess you  
> Has consumed my soul  
> My life is trembling  
> I have no control  
> I will have you  
> Yes, I will have you  
> I will find a way and I will have you  
> Like a butterfly  
> A wild butterfly  
> I will collect you and capture you  
> You are an obsession  
> You're my obsession  
> Who do you want me to be  
> To make you sleep with me  
> You are an obsession  
> You're my obsession  
> Who do you want me to be  
> To make you sleep with me

You just landed a job working at one of the most elite financial institutes for the wealthy - First Order Commerce.

Your newest coworker and friend, Starla, was showing you around the office. 

The first part of the morning was spent sitting through an orientation, and then the afternoon was spent learning the systems program that the company uses. 

You are the newly minted assistant to Kylo Ren, the chief financial adviser of the institute, and you were finally going to meet your boss at last.

Starla seemed nice, but she did like to engage in office gossip.

“You’re lucky to become Mr. Ren’s assistant.”

“How so?” You ask.

“You’ll see.” She winks at you.

Starla knocks on Mr. Ren’s door as the two of you stand there. Once she is granted permission, she ushers you into his office and announces your arrival.

Mr. Ren barely acknowledges you as he looks up from the screen of his laptop.

Your eyes widen as you glance from looking at him, and back to Starla. Starla grins.

“I’ll leave the two of you to get acquainted.”

You start to panic. Starla nudges you as she walks out the door, closing you in Mr. Ren’s office.

Kylo pays you no mind as he is engrossed in whatever is on his computer screen.

“Good evening, sir.” You offer, your voice sounding timid.

‘Great. He hates me.’ You think silently to yourself.

“Is there anything that I could be doing for you at the moment?” You add.

Kylo lifts his head from the screen and stares at you.

You stand stark still under his scrutinizing gaze.

‘Yep. He definitively hates me.’ You think to yourself.

“You’ll find your desk over there.” Kylo finally speaks to you as he gestures to the corner cubicle that is sitting in his vast office space. You find his voice very pleasing just like the rest of him.

“Thank you, sir.”

You retreat to your newly designated work area. Grateful that there is a partition wall to block the awkwardness of this first time encounter. Your newly appointed boss intimidates the hell out of you.

Kylo calls your name, and you jump.

“Yes sir?”

“I would like a cup of coffee.”

“Yes sir, right away.”

You scurry out of his office into the break room. There, you find Starla, engaging with another coworker that you have not been introduced to, yet. Starla breaks away from said coworker, to inquire about how your encounter with Kylo is coming along.

“He’s asked for coffee.”

“Not a bad start.” Starla jests

“He hates me.” You lament.

“Give him time. He’s moody, sure, but look on the bright side, you get to look at that Monday through Friday, am I right? Starla grins and then winks.

“Is he married? Seeing anyone?” You ask, hoping you did not sound so desperate.

“Oh no. He went through a rough divorce.”

“Really?”

“Yes. I will have to tell you about it another time. Better not keep Lord Ren, I mean, Mr. Ren… waiting.” Starla laughs.

You return to Kylo’s office, wielding his cup of coffee.

“Mother fuck it!” Kylo exclaims as he pounds his fist against his desk, shaking the entire desk. You jump, spilling the coffee on his lap as you were about to sit the cup down onto his desk.

Kylo clamors in his chair as the hot liquid soaks through the front of his pants.

“Mr. Ren! I’m so sorry!” You grab at the napkins that you brought with you, and try blotting the spill while realizing that you are blotting his inner thigh as Kylo gives you an awkward stare as he looks down at you.

Your hands are trembling, and you are down on your knees when Starla knocks and then enters his office, before waiting clearance to enter.

Starla’s eyes go wide as saucers as to what she can interpret from the scene that lies before her. Kylo is seated in his chair and turned facing you as you are on your knees with your head just slightly above the desk, leaning inward to his lower region.

“Not a good time?” Starla tries to make light of the situation. 

“Wait!” You exclaim “It’s not…it’s not what you think!”

‘Jesus fuck. Strike me down, NOW!’ You silently pray for a quick and easy exit.

“Starla, call my town home and have the maid send over a new suit.”

“Yes sir.” Starla replies.

Starla exits the office.

“I’m so sorry Mr. Ren. I will have your suit cleaned.” You say to him as you are nearly in tears.

“Don’t worry about it. It was my fault. I didn’t mean to startle you. We just lost our best account holder.” He says in a sigh of frustration, and the first semi-kind words that he has spoken to you, thus far.

Kylo tells you to take the rest of the day off. 

Starla wastes no time in tracking you down.

“Wow, way to make an impression on tall, dark, and intimidating.”

“I just want this day to end.”

“What happened?” Starla asks.

“I was bringing him coffee, and all of a sudden he is shouting obscenities at his computer and I’m startled, and I spill the coffee all over his lap. Then, I reach for the napkins and start blotting the spill when I realize that I’m trying to dry his crotch.” You state as you hang your head in shame.

“That’s probably the most action Ren has received in awhile.” Starla tries to make you laugh.

“He told me to take the rest of the day off, perhaps permanently at this rate.”

“Nonsense. Accidents happen. If Ren is THAT uptight, then you don’t need him as a boss. Wait for me. We’ll go have drinks, my treat.” Starla adds as she hurries back to her office to sign out for the day. 

****  
Starla takes you to a quaint little cocktail lounge.

Over drinks, she tells you about Kylo’s history.

“So what do you think of Kylo?”

“Are you going to keep it between us?” You ask.

“Yes, of course. I know I like to gossip, but I wouldn’t jeopardize your job over it.”

“He’s gorgeous, and yet - scary as hell.” You confess.

Starla chuckles.

“You said he is divorced?”

“Indeed. His wife cheated on him.”

“With what? His identical twin? If there is a man who looks any better, I would like to see him!” You proclaim.

“Surprisingly, it was with a former employee. Someone named Hux. I came along right after the ordeal.

“He must have been mean or abusive to her.” You surmise.

“Maybe. I heard he beat the shit out of the other man when he caught them in the act. Or maybe he is just not that good in bed?” Starla adds her two cents.

“Yeah right. A man that looks like that? Not gonna buy that.” You scoff.

“You never know.”

“Has he dated anyone, that you know of?”

“Not to my knowledge. A lot of the women at work would love a chance at him, but with his brooding, he scares them away.”

You sigh.

“How long has he been divorced?”

“God. About a year now?” Starla replies.

“Listen, I have to get going. I have to meet Mike, for dinner. Don’t beat yourself up about today. Text me if you need me.” Starla tells you as she hugs you, and leaves the lounge.

You are left sitting at the bar. You notice an attractive, dark haired man, was starting to approach you. He flashes a couple of smiles your way. You looked away, acting coy. When you glanced back up, you noticed his eyes went wide as if he was startled. The stranger turns and retreats, just as quickly as he appeared. You wondered what it was that scared him away from you. 

As you turn to your right side, you are startled to see Kylo sitting down beside you at the bar.

“Fuck!” You let the obscenity slip as your hand clutches at your chest, trying to still your rapid heartbeat. You were not expecting to see anyone sitting beside you, let alone, your intimidating boss.

“Mr. Ren, you scared me.”

‘Was that guy scared off, by Kylo?’ You wondered.

Kylo was dressed in a gray suit jacket with jeans. His hair looked tousled as if he had been running his hand through it frequently. 

“We’re not in the office, and I’m not your boss right now, so call me Kylo.”

The bartender approaches, and asks Kylo what he would like to drink. He tells the bartender to give him the hardest thing that he has in stock. Kylo then tells the bartender to get you another round of whatever it was, that you had been drinking.

“Thank you.” You say to him. Kylo nods.

“Don’t drink too many. You have to be at work, early, tomorrow.”

“You mean… I still have a job after today?” You attempt to joke with him.

Kylo grins, and your nerves ease by ten fold.

“You come to this lounge often?” You ask, trying to break the ice.

“Not really. Some of the people from work like to frequent this place.”

“Ah. Do you drink often?” 

‘God, am I asking him if hes an alcoholic?’ You chide yourself.

“Not nearly enough.” He says as he slams the empty shot glass, down onto the bar.

“I’m sorry that you lost that account.”

‘Shut up! Shut up! This is going to agitate him!’ You scream at yourself silently.

“It was a long time coming. There will be others.”

A sentiment you hope that applies to his love life.

Just then, a blonde bombshell approaches Kylo from the side.

She leans in and whispers into his ear. You are clearly perturbed; the audacity! How did she know that he wasn’t with you? Apparently, she didn’t care. But hell, you couldn’t blame a girl for trying; look at him!

“No.” Kylo says aloud as he turns his attention back to you, and turning his back to the sex kitten that is now dejected. The bombshell pouts. You feel like an unintended goddess as most of the eyes of the bar are on Kylo, and he turns the bombshell away to focus on you.

Shocked by what you have witnessed, you had to speak your mind.

“Did you just turn her away?”

“Yes.”

“I’m not even a guy, but hello, look at her?”

Kylo smirks as he looks down at his newly filled glass.

“Women like her are a dime a dozen. The superficiality is boring to me. I want more than just a beautiful body.”

At first, you were not sure how to interpret that. Did Kylo even find you attractive? Maybe he was looking to date ‘below’ his league, so that he would not experience again, what he had with his wife’s affair. But then again, you don’t know what she looked like, although, you can imagine that she was a beauty.

“That’s good judgment.” You replied, not really knowing what to say.

“It wasn't wise of me to assume that all men would be attracted to such superficial women, instantly.”

Kylo shrugs.

“You better go home and get some rest.” He tells you, as if he was a concerned friend or maybe just your boss, being bossy. You smile.

“I’m going to work you hard, tomorrow. I may ask for two cups of coffee.” He adds with a grin. You chuckle as you get up to leave the bar. Maybe Kylo Ren won’t be such an intimidating boss, after all.


	2. I Will Have you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Kylo positions your hands where they need to be or perhaps, where he wants them to be. Feeling unsure, you ask him as if you were a virgin. “Like this?”
> 
> “Yes, just like that.” He reassures as he grins at you.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little slow build/start, but it will soon take off...

A week has passed, since you began working at First Order Commerce. You were still nervous around your boss (now, for other obvious reasons). Kylo’s temperament toward you had changed, for the better, and he wasn’t so intimidating in that aspect. But now, you’re fighting the ‘attraction to my boss’ aspect.

You begin to pay more attention to how you dressed, and you wore a little more makeup than usual. You remembered Kylo’s thoughts about the bombshell, so you kept your attire modest; nothing too low cut nor revealing.

As Saturday rolled around, you returned to the lounge bar that Starla had introduced you to. You were secretly hoping to run into Kylo, although he had stated that he didn’t come there often, but you could hope, couldn’t you?

Fortune smiled on you, at least, for a moment. When you entered the lounge, the first person that your eyes instantly scoped, was Kylo. Of course if he was present, he would shine like a beacon in any room, no matter how large or crowded the room was.

Kylo was sitting at the bar, but there was another woman who had just approached him as you entered the lounge. Your heart sank.

Quickly, you darted off to a corner table concealing your presence as you watched the scene unfold.

The woman that approached Kylo, is nothing like the bombshell. In fact, she could be comparable to you in most respects. Her hair is long and a faded red in color. She doesn’t appear to be the high maintenance type (although she is wearing an expensive designer dress and high heels) nor does she look like a woman that would be looking for a one night stand; this is what worried you. 

You couldn’t hear the conversation, but you watched their body language intently, especially Kylo’s.

The woman started to make small talk with Kylo. He was acting polite, perhaps feigning, but nonetheless, this encouraged the woman to seemingly open up more to her new found handsome stranger.

“I’m Laura, what’s your name?” The woman asked Kylo.

You watched as Kylo suddenly sat up straighter and his body stiffened. You detected a subtle change in his overall body and mood.

“Kylo.” He says as he picks up his shot glass.

You observed Kylo staring at her left hand, intently.

Laura noticed, and began to fidget with the wedding band on her finger.

“Your husband know that you are talking to strange men, in bars?” Kylo chastises the woman.

“It’s…it’s not like that.” Laura defends, feeling a little ashamed at being called out for it.

“Oh? Then what is it?”

“My marriage is pretty much over. He’s never home anymore. I’m always alone.” Laura looks and sounds dejected

Your eyes widen as you watch Kylo, suddenly move closer to the stranger; intimately closer.

Your heart is beating fast, and you’re starting to feel a little sick to your stomach at what their closeness entails. Is Kylo going to take this woman home? All kinds of scenarios play out in your mind as your heart breaks, momentarily.

You watch as the woman smiles as Kylo is whispering into her ear and his hand slinks up the side of her neck, and his fingers push through her long, red hair.

You are shocked at what comes next. Kylo pulls the woman’s hair, resulting in pulling her head back, albeit, doing this subtly as he looks down into her eyes from where they sit.

“The poor neglected house wife.” Kylo hisses in a low, but menacing whisper. Laura remains silent, but her eyes were pleading with Kylo as she continued to look at him as his fingers still grip at her hair.

“Did you ever stop to think that maybe your husband is working late and working hard to keep you in a lifestyle that you’ve grown accustomed to? Hmm? Go home to your husband.” Kylo says deeply as his eyes narrow and he releases the woman by her hair. Laura’s eyes were widened in fright at Kylo’s brusque behavior. She grabs her purse and hastily exits the bar with tears in her eyes.

You quickly look down at your phone, before Kylo can see you watching him; in the event that if he chooses to follow the stranger’s exit path, which leads right beside your corner table.

You were texting Starla. You were not about to look up. If Kylo saw you, he would either have to approach you or pretend that he didn’t see you at all.

You didn’t know what to make of the situation. Kylo was intentionally stern with the woman at the bar. She had to have said something to him to set him off. Like the bombshell, he rejected her as well. This made you all the more curious about him.

“Meeting someone?” The voice that sounds so smooth that it makes your body feel like velvet is being swept across your bare skin when you hear it, speaks to you.

You look up from your phone, a little startled.

“Kylo.” You say his name as you smile, looking up at him.

“You always sit at the bar, what are you doing over here?” He points out the obvious, almost sounding accusing.

You had to think quick; find an excuse. One that is convincing.

“Oh. I was meeting Starla and Mike for drinks, but Mike got called to work, so, Starla just messaged me that I am on my own for tonight.” You try to appear sincere, and a little bummed about the ‘cancellation.’

Kylo stands there as if he is inspecting you. You try not to break under the pressure o his gaze. You noticed that he is looking a little more uptight and severe.

You decided to deflect. “Are you meeting someone? You told me that you didn’t come here often?”

And then, Kylo pulls the rug right out from under you.

“Come home with me.” Kylo says to you. You knew you had to have given him a funny look. You were astounded, and you were not sure that you had heard him correctly. You just look at him for several seconds.

“Well?” He says. You can hear it in his tone as if to say ‘what would be so bad about coming home with me?’

“Is that appropriate?” You let your private thought slip out.

Fuck. You’ve wanted this, went looking for this, and it suddenly falls into your lap effortlessly, and now you have the audacity to question if its appropriate? You berate yourself silently.

“I didn’t ask you to sleep with me.” He quips.

“Oh god no. I mean… no… I don’t want to sleep with you…. no-no. I mean I do… its not that I don’t want to… every woman wants to have you… fuck.” You ramble in a panic as you stumbled in your reply.

You hang your head in shame as your face burns a bright shade of red, one brighter than Rudolph’s nose you’re willing to wager, and you had no where to run to and nowhere to hide, because you are literally cornered by Kylo.

“Come home with me, and we’ll have drinks.” Kylo reiterates.

You dart your eyes upward at him.

You stand, grabbing your phone and purse from the table, and leave with your sexy boss who you didn’t, but you did, want to sleep with.

****  
Kylo drove you back to his town home on the far side of town.  
It was awkwardly silent, the ride. You debated with yourself if you should clarify your statement, about not wanting to sleep with him as if you found him repulsive or something.

Kylo led you into his home. It is a nice looking place. Nothing too fancy, it was well kept and organized. There was no carpet; everything was hardwood floors. All the wood from the furniture to the walls matched and was darker in color. The home felt ‘warm.’

You sat down on the plush red sofa as Kylo walked over to the the solid wood, custom made bar that was stationed in the living room. 

You smirked to yourself, recalling his words that he didn’t drink ‘nearly enough.’

To see his bar, it states otherwise.

“Wine, champagne or something harder?” Kylo asks.

You looked up as he said ‘something harder’ and just briefly, you thought about how seductive the words sounded, spoken in his voice.

“Wine would be nice. Red if you have it.” 

Kylo smirks.

He hands you the glass of wine. Kylo is having bourbon.

You hear soft instrumental music being piped in through the speakers in the living room. Kylo really knows how to surround himself in ambiance. The music, the soft overhead lighting, all work in tandem.

Kylo sits down beside you, and you feel compelled to get it off your chest.

“Please, let me apologize for what I said at the bar. I didn’t mean to imply, and I certainly didn’t mean I didn’t want to sleep with you as if I found you repulsive or something. That’s not what I was trying to…”

Kylo interrupts.

“Shhh.” He says as he smiles at you, and that is enough to silence you.

“Do you dance?” He asks.

“Not really.” You’re starting to panic, inwardly.

“Then I will teach you.” Kylo says to you as he stands up, and reaches out for you to take his hand.

Your body feels weak at what is about to transpire.

The living room floor is big enough that you can easily slow dance without fear of bumping into the furniture.

There is some piano music playing, a piece that you have never heard before.

Kylo pulls you closer to his body, and you have to make a conscious effort to stay upright; your legs want to give out from under you, and if they do, you pray that he will catch you in time to stop you falling face first into the hardwood floor..

Kylo positions your hands where they need to be or perhaps, where he wants them to be. Feeling unsure, you ask him as if you were a virgin. “Like this?”

“Yes, just like that.” He reassures as he grins at you.

‘Still upright? Check.’ You think to yourself as you quickly glance down to see that you are indeed, still standing on your legs.

You have no choice other than to follow Kylo’s lead and his body as he begins to move the two of you. You have no idea what to do.

“Relax.” He whispers to you.

Are you that nervous that he can see it? Feel it?

“Your body is too stiff. Just relax, and follow me.” Kylo says to you. 

‘Ah. You’re too stiff, and not flowing with the music.’ You tell yourself.

Just as you were starting to get the hang of things, Kylo re-positions your stances. Kylo is behind you now, and his hands are on your hips; keeping your bodies in rhythm to sway to the music. Your eyes widen at this turn of events.

Kylo is pressed against you more closely than before, and you can feel all of him against your backside. He is not hard, and certainly doesn’t need to be in order to still feel him. You’re slowly agonizing over how his body feels rubbing against yours kind of innocently, but yet, was it innocent on his part?

‘Why is he wearing a suit on a Saturday? Perhaps its just habit for him.’ You thought to yourself.

Your body stiffens a little as Kylo sweeps your hair away from the side of your neck. You can feel him breathing against your skin. His body engulfs yours, and it sends a good kind of chill through you… to have this tall, muscular man looming over your backside, and to be at his complete mercy if it came down to it.

“Do you want to sleep with me?” Kylo surprises you with his question. His nose is nuzzling against the side of your cheek as his lips faintly brush against your ear as he asked his question.

Somehow, you managed not to completely still yourself as Kylo continues to guide your hips along with his body to the music.

“I…” You falter.

“If I wasn’t your boss, would you want to sleep with me?” His words spoken softly against your ear, once more.

“Eventually. I mean, I don’t know you well enough to just climb into bed with you, no matter how attractive you are.”

Somehow, you just knew that your answer pleased Kylo.

The music had died, and Kylo pulled away from your body.

You didn’t know what to make of the situation. Did he want to fuck? You were going to need a change of panties, because you were already soaking wet from this man.

You watch as Kylo grabs his car keys from the bar, and takes one last swig from his glass. Kylo walks over to you and kisses you so softly and quite romantically. His large hand is cupping the side of your cheek as he kisses you languidly with his full lips and you can taste the bourbon in his kiss. Kylo pulls away, and looks at you with his warm eyes that match the color of his drink, and he tells you that he is driving you home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you follow my stories, you know that I normally update rather fast. I had to tend to an ailing family member who was in the hospital this past week, so my writing is sporadic lately, and I should be able to return to my regular scheduled program in the next couple of days. Thanks for reading. Kudos and comments are my nutries, so please, feed me ;-D 
> 
> Also, I love hearing reader's ideas and thoughts in regards to the story's progression, so please feel free to help inspire me and tell me what you would like to read :-)


	3. Theres No Balance, No Equality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'You were feeling perturbed by having to explain yourself to Kylo, when you owed him no explanation.'

That following Monday, at work, you were busy checking over paperwork when Kylo saunters over to your desk. You were standing at your desk riffling through papers, not really paying much attention, until you feel Kylo standing behind you or more so - pressing up against your body. You slowly straighten up.

“When you get time, please proof read these documents and make copies.” Kylo says to you as you feel him pressing into you and his hand is casually resting on your hip as he lays the papers down onto your desk.

“Have you ever considered dying your hair red?” Kylo asks as he twirls a lock of your hair around his finger. “Just a suggestion.” He adds as he smiles at you. You are speechless.

He pulls away from you, and returns to his desk. Your mind kind of glitches for several seconds, and you quickly return back to your prior duties, organizing and looking over paperwork.

When you get everything settled, you happen to glance over at Kylo. He is casually leaning back in his office chair and he is on the phone with a client of First Order.

He smiles at you, when he notices you glancing at him. You return the smile, and then bury yourself back into the pile of paper work on your desk.

It instantly comes to your mind, the tale of Icarus and flying too close to the sun. Kylo is like the flaming sun, and you are bound to have your wings scorched and singed by this burning flame only to fall back to earth, with a very hard landing. Everything in your gut tells you to avoid him, and leave well enough alone; to look away, don’t blind yourself by his tempting light, but you can’t help yourself. You smile and stare right into the ‘sun’ that is Kylo Ren.

While Kylo is still talking on the phone, you receive a text from Starla. She is asking you to join them tonight at the lounge, for dinner and drinks. Mike has a friend, Mark, who is looking to meet someone. They want to double date. You’re interested, but you feel torn about Kylo. He has made no declaration of wanting a relationship with you. Yes, he has been, what you consider for him to be ‘flirty’, but he has not asked you out on a date, and you are not one to wait around for a man (no matter how blindingly attractive) he is. You tell Starla that you will meet them there, at 7, tonight.

****

When lunch time rolls around, Starla comes to fetch you.

You both take to the little park area that is designated for Firsts Order workers, just outside of the First Order’s office building. There is a couple of concrete benches and some park benches scattered around.

“Are you excited to meet Mark?” Starla asks.

“I guess.”

“Wow, hold the confidence train.” Starla quips.

“No.No. It’s not like that… I just thought that Kylo would have asked me out by now… I mean… I don’t know. Maybe I misjudged the situation with him.”

“Perhaps what Kylo needs, is to see you in the company of another man. Let him know that he has competition. Men start to come around when they see a woman being valued and sought after by another man.” Starla tells you.

“I don’t think that is such a good idea. Making Kylo jealous? Assuming he would even feel that way.” You add.

“Well, you’re a free woman. Kylo doesn’t own you. All you are doing, is meeting one of our friends and having dinner; no harm done. Besides, we don’t even know if Kylo will even turn up at the bar.” Starla informs.

You’re looking down at the ground, thinking about what she said and then Starla tells you subtly -

“Don’t look up, but Ren is watching us from his office window.” Starla tells you.

You turn your head to look at her. “What?”

“Indeed. He is watching you.” Starla nudges you in jest.

You wanted so much to look up to the fourth floor window, and catch him staring at you, but you restrain yourself. Secretly, it gave you a little thrill to know that his eyes were upon you.

“Is he still watching?” You ask. Starla subtly raises her head up to catch a glimpse, not looking so conspicuous as she steals a peek.

“Yes.”

You grin at her.

****  
You arrived at the lounge bar to find Starla, Mike and Mark already seated at a table. Unlike when you are around Ren, you decided to wear a little more revealing dress on this date. A simple black dress with a little plunging neckline to show off your cleavage, with black velvet stilettos.

Mark is attractive. He is tall, with sandy colored hair and blue eyes, but he is no Kylo. You tried not to lament on that fact. You were there to enjoy the evening with your friends, and nothing more.

You were seated for about twenty minutes when Starla nudges your leg from under the table, to get your attention.

You look at her quizzical as she mouths the words “Boss man is here.”

Your eyes widen. Starla tells Mike and Mark to order you some more drinks up at the bar, that it would be faster service than waiting for the lounge’s only waitress to come around to take your order. Mark and Mike take off toward the bar.

“Don’t look, but Ren is here!” Starla says excitedly. She keeps her head lowered so Ren won’t spot her immediately.

“Is he alone?” You ask Starla, who has the field view of the bar and where Kylo is sitting.

“Yes, he is alone, but there are women looking hard.”

You frown at that.

“What are we going to do when he sees us? You know that he will! Does he know Mike?”

“No, he has never met Mike, and it doesn’t matter if he sees us! You’re not some prisoner under ‘Ren arrest.’ Starla laughs.

About five minutes later, Mike returns to the table, alone.

“Mark would like to see you, up at the bar.” Mike says to you as he smiles. You hesitate, nervously.

“We’ll go with you.” Starla quickly adds.

“No. Mark wants to have some ‘private time’ with you.” Mike smiles at you, making sure to get the message through.

“Yes, of course.” You tell him.

Mike sits down beside Starla as you stand up from your chair.

You instantly know that Kylo’s eyes have zeroed in on you, and you can just feel it. You do your damndest to not look over to where you know that Kylo normally sits, while at the bar.

You take a deep breath as you make your way across the stretch of floor that divides you from Mark.

You come to stand beside him as he offers you the bar stool to sit upon.

Your back is facing Ren and you have successfully pulled it off, that you are unaware of his presence.

It is killing you so badly. You want to look, you want to acknowledge him, but you don’t and you pray that you have not fucked up any potential chance that you might of could of had with Ren.

Mark starts to chat with you, and he gently places his hand on your lower back. You smile at him and you like the feel of his hand upon you, but you can’t help but wish that it was Kylo’s resting there.

In the distance, you hear a loud slam of a shot glass against the bar’s counter top. You instantly know it is Kylo; it has to be.

“Would you care to dance with me?” Mark asks and then he peers upward, suddenly. Your eyes widen for you know what lies behind you. You can feel him even though he is not touching your body, and you can smell his cologne.

“She will be dancing with me.” You hear the smooth like velvet voice.

“Excuse me?” Mark says as he rises up and off of the bar stool.

You turn to look back and see Kylo as he stares down Mark.

Mark is a little shorter than Kylo, and not quite as big, but you think that he could hold his own if they came to blows.

“What part of that statement did you not understand?” Kylo quips.

Your eyes widen and you quickly look over to Starla as her mouth has fallen agape.

“Kylo.” You say his name, quickly trying to deflect the situation.

“You know this man?” Mark asks in a tone that sounds hurt.

“Yes. He is my boss at First Order.” You say as you smile, flittering glances between both men.

Kylo does not even blink as he continues to look at Mark.

Kylo reaches for your hand to help you down from the stool. His hand is steadying you at your waist as you carefully scoot off of the seating in your dangerous heels.

“Whoa!” Mark chides as he sees Kylo’s hand resting on your waist.

“Please! I don’t want a scene being made.” You interject, trying to nip this in the bud.

“There will be no scene. You are dancing with me as I told this… gentleman.” Kylo states as he never blinks, while looking at Mark.

“It’s okay Mark, please. I will join you at the table, okay?” You plead with your eyes, trying to not make either man feel offended.

Mark hesitates. He relents to you, more so, than to Kylo.

Mark leaves to rejoin Starla and Mike at the table.

Kylo is ushering you over to the dance floor, where a slow dance is underway.

Kylo takes you in his arms the same way that he taught you, while at his house.

It is a little easier this time as your head now reaches his shoulder, thanks to your 6 inch heels. Kylo’s hand is resting on the small of your back, and it nearly covers the entire span of your lower back.

“You do not need a man like him.” Kylo tells you, nonchalantly.

“Excuse me?” You shake your head as you are confused.

“Who are you to tell me what I need? And you don’t know what kind of man he is.” You look into his eyes and for the first time, you are being defiant with Kylo.

“Not him.” Kylo states again.

“How did you find him?” Kylo asks, a little hotly.

“Starla set me up with him. He is Mike’s friend. She asked me to go out on a double date.”

You were feeling perturbed by having to explain yourself to Kylo, when you owed him no explanation.

“I don’t want to see you with him again. Do you understand?” Kylo says to you as he looks into your eyes, and makes a pointed effort to kiss you passionately, so that the entire lounge can see or get the notion that there is no doubt that you belong to him as he claims you right there, right in the middle of the dance floor.

“Go say goodnight to your friends. I’m taking you home.” Kylo instructs you. You are utterly flabbergasted and so dazed by Kylo’s audacity and authority, that you simply comply.


	4. Who Do You Want Me To Be, To Make You Sleep With Me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'You feel a little ridiculous, although you don’t look bad at all. In fact, you like an entirely different woman.'

The next day at work, you are met with an irate Starla.

“You could of told me that you were dating Ren!” Starla exclaims as she confronts you in the break room.

“I’m not!”

“Well then, why did he just reprimand me in his office?”

“He did what?”

“Yes, he told me not to set you up on anymore dates and pretty much in a round about way wants me to leave you alone.”

“Oh hell no!” You are pissed.

“You saw at the lounge, how he acted.” You add.

“Yeah, how he swallowed your face for the entire crowd to see.” Starla quips.

“Listen Starla, I am sorry that Kylo has done this, but I am just as shocked as you are. I will talk to him.”

With that, you left Starla and marched yourself to Kylo’s office.

You didn’t bother to knock, you were so mad and you wanted to be in the moment when you let your words fly.

Kylo is sitting at his desk when you enter, unannounced.

“Just who the hell do you think you are? Yelling at Starla like that!”

Kylo looks up at you.

“Well?”

Kylo stands up and as you take in the sight in front of you, you’re starting to lose your confidence as he approaches you.

Kylo takes you in his arms, and kisses you as if it will wash away all his recent offenses.

You pull away and look at him.

“You owe her an apology. As well as myself.” You add, still trying to maintain the upper hand.

Kylo walks over to his desk and picks up the phone and dials. He is put through, to Starla’s extension line.

“Take the rest of the day off, and enjoy yourself. You will be paid for today.”

Kylo hangs up the phone, and your body relaxes some.

“Thank you.” You say to him for his amending.

Kylo returns to you, and you watch as his eyes seems to focus intently on your mouth as if he has a hunger and he takes you with a firm kiss.

“Come away with me, on vacation.” He tells you as he holds you in his embrace.

“What? I can’t. I just started working here not quite two weeks ago.”

“So, I am your boss. I will authorize it. Besides, I am due for my vacation.”

You couldn’t believe these turn of events.

“So what are you saying, Ren? Do you want to date me?” You surprised yourself, after the words had slipped out of your mouth.

“Isn’t it obvious what I want?” He smirks.

“Where are you going on vacation?”

“I have booked a cabin in Oregon. It is nestled in the woods; no tv, no internet, no phone service. It will be just the two of us. I think that is a good starting point, don’t you?” He looks directly into your eyes.

You subtly swallow. “I guess so.”

“Good. We leave tomorrow, first class. I hope you are not afraid to fly?”

A little too late to ask. You thought. And he already has the tickets booked? How long has he planned this? And he has the gall to just assume that you would go along? The audacity.

“You can take the rest of the day off and go pack. I am sure you want to talk with Starla.” He grins at you.

You smirk, slightly. 

****  
You meet Starla at the mall, this time. You didn’t want Kylo to turn up at the lounge, if you had decided to go there.

You and Starla sat in the food court, sharing coffees as you chat.

“This is so sudden. I mean, he’s just so forceful at times.” You tell Starla.

“A man like Ren, is going to be a bit pushy. You don’t get to the top by being meek. He probably does not hear the word ‘no’ too often.”

“This is just happening so suddenly. And then, you saw him at the lounge, how he dominated the situation and treated Mark as if he were an afterthought. By the way, thanks for apologizing to Mark, for me. I still can’t bear to face him.”

“He isn’t too happy. I don’t understand why Mark didn’t take a swing at Kylo; very unlike him. He takes no bullshit from any man.”

“Maybe it was because I asked them not to make a scene.” You add.

“By the way, do you know what Kylo’s ex-wife’s name is? I’m still so curious about his divorce.”

“I was told that her name is Lauren. But no one speaks her name around him, it puts him in a foul mood.”

“Understandable, I suppose.” You say.

“Holy shit.” Starla suddenly deflects.

“What are the odds…” Starla trails off.

“What?” You look around into the direction of Starla’s gaze. There, walking to the escalator, you see Kylo carrying a small gift bag from a store.

“Is he following you?” Starla says.

“Did he see us?” You ask.

“No, I don’t think so.”

You watch as Kylo takes the escalator down to the first floor.

“Maybe he was buying you something for the trip?”

“It’s just a coincidence that he turned up here.” You try to reason as you shrug it off.

“I better get going, if I am to pack.”

You make your way out of the mall, and into the parking garage. When you find your car, you are suddenly startled to see Kylo getting into his car that is parked beside yours.

“Kylo.” You say his name.

He grins at you.

“I thought I told you to pack, is this how you spend your time?” It sounds like a jest coming from him, but you are not quite sure.

“Yeah, I met with Starla to tell her goodbye.”

“Hurry home and pack.” He gestures to you, and gets into his car.

On the way home, you kept checking your rear view mirror expecting to see Kylo following you; thankfully, no sight of him.

When you arrive home, you receive a text message. You do not recognize the number, but by the words of the message you know just who it is.

“Our flight leaves tomorrow, at 10 in the morning. I will be at your place by 8. Be ready.” His message reads.

How did he get your phone number? You haven’t given it to him. Maybe he got it from Starla? You wondered

That uneasy feeling returns in the pit of your stomach. You chalk it up to nerves. You were going to a secluded cabin in the Oregon woods, alone, with a man that looks like a Greek god; this, you told yourself as you justified the butterflies in your stomach, and nothing more.

****  
The flight went smoothly. It was the first time that you had flown first class, and it was indeed an upgrade.

All through the airport, Kylo had his hand either on the small of your back or around your waist as if he was afraid that you were going to get lost or run off and depart from him. You weren’t sure what to make of it. Was he just being protective or was it more controlling, disguised as something seemingly minor? 

Kylo had rented a car and with the GPS, he found the cabin in the woods.

It is beautiful, this cabin that Kylo has brought you to. Apart from too many windows for your liking, the entire scenery is idyllic.

Kylo unloads the car with your luggage.

It is a bit awkward to be surrounded in such silence. No electronics, save for your own phone. There is a little lake just behind the cabin, and a few trails branching off into the wilderness.

“Let’s take a nap, hmm?” Kylo says to you as he comes up from behind you and puts his arms around you.

You were feeling a little tired. But how can you sleep, laying next to Kylo?

Kylo remained a gentleman, he did not attempt anything physical with you. You simply napped.

****

After your nap, you spent the rest of the daylight hours exploring the little town near the cabin, and Kylo rented two horses so that the both of you could trail ride near the paths next to your cabin.

When the sun was setting, you found yourself wrapped in Kylo’s arms as you stood on the back deck of the cabin watching the sun go down over the horizon.

It was very tranquil, and all those jitters and butterflies in your stomach had quelled.

Kylo was attentive with his kisses, and nuzzling at your neck. He momentarily departed your company long enough in order to make dinner for the two of you.

You knew what was to come, next. After dinner, night fell, and there was nothing to do but either to talk or to fuck.

It wasn’t cold enough to build a fire in the fireplace, so there was no romantic leisure in front of one.

As Kylo cleaned up the kitchen, you wandered out onto the cabin’s deck and gazed up at the moon.

Kylo startled you, when you felt his arms folding around you as he silently crept up upon you.

“Relax, it’s just me.” He says softly to you.

“You look beautiful” Kylo tells you.

Kylo’s kissing becomes more urgent and you feel him growing hard against your backside.

You want more than anything to experience this man, but in the back of your mind there is that nagging voice telling you that it is wrong to sleep with your boss. And you try to reason with this thinking.

What happens if it doesn’t work out and you have to still share an office and see him every day of the work week?

“I want to make love to you.” Kylo whispers to you, and that puts an end to the pesky voice of your conscious.

Kylo leads you to the bedroom. The light of the moon is shining into the room through the many windows that you are not particularly fond of, but in this case, there is no complaints.

Kylo begins to undress you, taking his time. You are nervous and you try to slow your breathing and not show him just how nervous that you are.

It has been awhile since you have last been with a man, but the fact that this is Kylo, you feel insecure. This is the man that could have nearly any woman that he wanted, and he has chosen you.

Your mind goes blank when you feel Kylo kissing you slowly down your back as he removed your last remaining article of clothing - your bra.

His spacious hands rub against your shoulders as his fingers splay against your skin. His touch is so warm.

His hands come to rest on the lines of your shoulders as his plush lips brush across the side of your neck. You love the sounds that his mouth makes while kissing you there.

Kylo turns you around and seizes your mouth with his. You’re not even aware, but as he kisses you, his body is walking you backwards as he is now pinning you up against the cabin’s wall. Kylo had removed his shirt, and all that remained on him is his dress pants that are so profoundly tented.

Kylo hoists you up into his arms and your legs clasp around his waist. He holds you against the wall as he reaches down and removes himself from his pants. You watch as he takes himself in hand and your eyes widen, and you subtly gasp at the beast within his hand.

Kylo smirks against your lips with his mouth as he inserts himself inside of you.

Your fingers grab at his shoulders as his girth stings and stretches you. He feels impossible.

Your arms are around his neck as you stare into his eyes, and your eyes subtly widen as you anticipate his first thrust.

Kylo kisses you the moment that he performs his first thrust. You gasps into his mouth as he pushes up into you. Kylo starts slow, but once he feels that you have opened up and accepted him with further ease, he thrusts more vigorously.

His cock feels incredible. You never knew that a man could be this fulfilling, inside of you. You think to yourself that this is probably the first time since his divorce that Kylo has had sex, and you’re the first.

Kylo’s face is buried into the side of your neck as he pushes into you with all of his strength. You know that you are going to be severely sore come the morning, but you do not care. There’s something about the thought that you are letting him get all of his pent up sexual frustration out and into your body, in this moment.

His moans with the hard panting and deep breathing, are like seductive music to your ears.

Right as Kylo cums, his breath hitches and he grunts, and you feel his warm breath brush against your ear as his cum spurts in streams, into your womb.

“Kylo.” You say his name breathlessly as he thrust one last time, and hard.

As he finishes inside of you, you orgasm; clenching his dick inside of you, not wanting to relinquish the hold that you have on him.

Kylo lets you slide down from his body. His cum slowly tricking out of your opening, and now, down the side of your thigh when he pulls out of you.

Both of you had worked up a slight sheen of sweat on your bodies.

Kylo still has you pressed against the wall with his body. He kisses you as he runs his fingers through your hair. He seems different, almost at ease and a little vulnerable.

You suggest to him that the two of you shower, and so, you do.

****  
You awake in the middle of the night around 3a.m. to feel Kylo is taking you while in your sleep.

Kylo is laying behind you, and he had pulled your left leg back, over top of his thigh and he had entered you, and was gently thrusting as his hand massaged your breast. You stirred awake to the sensation of his fullness of his shallow, languid thrusting.

You were not sure what to make of this. In a sense, it was seductive, but in another, to just take possession of your body like that, and while you were asleep and defenseless?

You did not protest. You let Kylo continue until he found his 2nd release that night.

****  
You did not question the early morning taking, while you had been asleep. Kylo knew that you had awoken, but you both remained silent.

The rest of the day was like the last, the two of you went exploring and Kylo took you to do some shopping.

When you retired for the night, you found yourself sitting on the sofa, enjoying the solitude and the candlelight that now surrounded you.

Now that you had become intimate with Kylo, you thought that it would be ok to talk with him about his past.

You’re running your fingers through his dark locks when you ask him about his ex wife.

“I know you must know that I had been told that you were once married.”

Kylo pulls a way from you to grab his glass of whiskey, sitting on the end table.

“Yes, I was.”

You try to read Kylo’s mood. You know that he wouldn’t be too enthused about being questioned, but curiosity got the better of you.

“May I ask you, about your marriage?”

“What is there to ask? She left me for someone else.” Kylo says with contempt.

“Yeah, that's just it. I don’t understand why. I mean, was she mental?”

You thought that maybe he would find that funny, but when he didn’t respond and stared blankly into his glass of whiskey, you knew you had to try and do damage control.

“I’m sorry, Kylo. I didn’t mean to make a joke about it. I just don’t understand why she would hurt you like that. You’ve been wonderful to me and I could imagine that you would make a great husband.” You try to let him see and hear your sincerity.

You reach over to kiss him and Kylo doesn’t respond.

“Have I upset you?” You ask as your eyes search his face for any indication.

You knew the talk of his divorce would be an unsettling topic, but come on, why couldn’t you ask questions?

“Please forgive me. It was never my intention to hurt you.” You say to Kylo. Kylo stiffens and he turns his head and you missed the subtle sneer he gave at your words. Little did you know, that this was the line that Lauren had given him when he caught her cheating on him, with Hux.

Kylo went from moody, shut down, don’t fuck with me to all of a sudden being overtly amorous with you.

“Come with me and you can make amends.” He instructs. You found his behavior slightly baffling, but you followed.

Kylo leads you into the bedroom. From his suitcase, he retrieves a bag. It isn’t the bag that you saw him toting while at the mall, this is entirely different.

“Do you like to role play?” He asks as he presents the bag to you.

“I’ve never done it. But it sounds like fun.” You say as you smile at him.

“Wear this.” Kylo tells you.

You take the bag and carry it off to the bathroom. Once you are inside the bathroom, you empty the bag’s contents out onto the counter top. There is a sleek, short black dress and a long haired red wig. You look at it, perplexed. You recalled when Kylo suggested to you to dye your hair red. Maybe he likes redheads?

You thought it a little funny that he would pack a dress and a wig. You try on the dress, it fits, but it is very form fitting. Next, you have a little difficulty pinning your hair up in order to fit under the wig, and this is what takes the most time, but with a little tweaking, you secure the wig into place.

You feel a little ridiculous, although you don’t look bad at all. In fact, you like an entirely different woman.

When you enter back into the bedroom, Kylo is standing there, his eyes transfixed upon your body.

You laugh nervously as you present yourself before him.

“Does this please you?” You ask, almost shyly.

“Very much so.” His tone sounds kind of dark and lustful.

You can see a difference in Kylo’s eyes, their expression.

Kylo is instantly engaging with your body. His hands explore you over your tight black dress. He is firmer, a little more rougher with you this time.

Kylo moves you to the side of the bed. He turns you around so that you backside faces him. He hikes up the dress, bunching it up around your waist.

With his hand in the center of your back and with no words, he gestures as he pushes you down onto the bed, on all fours. This is an entirely new experience, and you are nervous. He didn’t even tell you what it was that you were suppose to be role playing. Where you the red headed hooker?

Kylo enters you without giving you any notice, and you cry out by how rough he takes you. Kylo’s hands hold onto your hips as he starts to pound into your pussy.

He is shoving you roughly, forward, with his body. Your hands grip into the bedding.

Kylo grows even rougher, and he has your face nearly pressed down into the mattress. You hear him grunting loud, almost as if he is angry.

This is too much to bear, and you try to raise up, but Kylo has a firm hold on your body, keeping you in place.

“Kylo!” You cry out. His thrusting is urgent and you shove back against him and remove the wig as you trying to glance back at him

“No, stop! I don’t like this!”

“You will never tell me no!” Kylo bellows as he pushes you back down into the mattress, and finishes hard inside of you.

Kylo is panting vigorously. You lay on the mattress as you begin to cry. You dare not move, even though he has removed himself from your body.

Kylo takes a moment to collect himself and realizes the severity of his actions.

“I’m… I’m sorry. I lost control. I was too caught up in the moment.”

Kylo tries to reach for you to comfort you, but you flinch, and pull away from him.

You pull the dress down as you remove yourself from the bed, and you walk into the bathroom where you lock the door and shed more tears.

****  
The rest of the night, you did not sleep well. You were afraid that Kylo would take you again, while you slept.

Come the morning, you slipped out of bed and went out the front door of the cabin, leaving the front door open. You wanted to feel a little sense of freedom, to have some time alone, and enjoy the crisp, cool, morning air.

“Where are you going?” You heard Kylo’s voice, he was standing in the door way.

You turn to look at him.

“I just wanted to get some fresh air.”

“Come back to bed.” Kylo says.

“I won’t be long, just a few minutes.”

“I said, come back to bed.” This time, his tone a little deeper with more command implied.

You had no choice, but to obey.


	5. I Will Collect You And Capture You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I… I don’t know. I just have to get away, first and foremost. I’ve been putting in applications to other businesses. Kylo cannot find out about this, so please, don’t say anything. I’ll probably have to move; he knows where I live, after all.”

Kylo never offered another apology, for taking you so roughly that night at the cabin. On the return flight, you remained silent. Kylo acted as if everything was okay. His hand was permanently affix to your leg as you sit in first class.

You had a lot of time to think during the return flight.

****  
When you returned from Oregon, Kylo began to act in a more possessive manner. When you returned to work, he insisted that he pick you up in the mornings and take you to the office.

You had been withdrawn since that encounter with him, even Starla noticed a red flag when you kept dodging her invites to the lounge, mall, etc.

One afternoon at the office, when Kylo left to go to lunch, you staid behind citing that you had a lot of paper work to go over. Your stapler ran out of staples, so you decide to check Kylo’s desk for staples.

At first, you were not intending to snoop, but as you searched for the staples and had made it to the second drawer, tucked away in the back you found a picture frame with a photo of Kylo and a woman with long red hair. You held the picture closer, inspecting it with hard scrutiny. Your hand started to tremble when it became clear who this woman is, pictured beside Kylo, and the fact that she is wearing the same black dress that Kylo made you wear the night at the cabin, when he took you by force.

You knew this was his ex wife, Lauren. Your hands trembled not only for the fact that he had you wear her dress, but for the fact that with the red wig on, you looked very much like his ex-wife.

Before you replaced the picture back into the drawer, you took a shot of it with your phone.

You text Starla, and asked her to meet you at your apartment when you got off of work.  
****

Starla arrived at your apartment, that evening.

You had kept pacing and kept looking down into the street below from your window, making sure you didn’t see Kylo’s car in sight.

“Hey, what is going on with you?” Starla asks in a concerned voice.

You really don’t know where to begin, and the tears start to fall.

Starla is alarmed.

“Hey, you okay?” She says as she moves to hug you.

“I can’t work at First Order anymore. I’m going to quit, but please don’t tell anyone, especially Kylo.”

“What’s going on?”

You proceed to tell Starla about the events that transpired at the cabin. Starla’s mouth falls agape as she is having trouble believing that Kylo would behave in such a way.

“It’s bad Starla. Look what I found in his desk.” You pull up the shot that you took of the picture that you found, on your phone for Starla to view.

“That is the dress - Lauren’s dress, the one that Kylo made me wear, and he had a matching red wig. That is his ex-wife in the picture, I am certain of it.”

Starla’s eyes widen in horror as she looks at you.

“He’ sick. There’s something wrong with him. He’s trying to turn me into his ex-wife.”

“Holy fuck. What are you going to do about him?”

“I… I don’t know. I just have to get away, first and foremost. I’ve been putting in applications to other businesses. Kylo cannot find out about this, so please, don’t say anything. I’ll probably have to move; he knows where I live, after all.”

“Yes, of course. Are you going to be okay being here by yourself?”

“ I should be.”

With that, Starla hugs you as she departs from your apartment.

****  
A week has passed since you returned from Oregon. You didn’t speak to Kylo that much unless necessary, and only for work related purposes. You noticed that Kylo was off kilter. He develops slight dark circles under his eyes, and he wasn’t as clean shaven as usual. Kylo looked a bit disheveled and like he has been losing sleep, since you started avoiding him.

You had text Starla, asking her if anyone that worked at First Order, knew Lauren or about Kylo and his divorce. She tells you that Margaret, the older lady who worked on the first floor, was here when Kylo started work at First Order.

You venture down to the first floor on your break, to get acquainted with Margaret.

“Oh yes, I remember it very well. We all thought Kylo was going to have to quit his job.”

“How so?”

“Oh, the poor man was so distraught. He took nearly a month off, after the affair was uncovered. It nearly destroyed him.”

“Did you ever meet Lauren?”

“Oh yes, she used to work here. In fact, she started out working along side of Mr. Ren, that is how they met.”

You swallowed hard at the growing parallels.

“You actually favor Lauren, in some ways.” Margaret added.

Margaret started whispering as if what she was about to say, was taboo.

“You know, it was said that Lauren took up with Hux, because he was into kinky, rough sex. Mr. Ren was quite devoted to his wife. There was nothing that he wouldn’t do or give to her, but she was unhappy (apparently between the sheets) and Mr. Ren caught them engaging in their affair, in his own house.”

You give Margaret a stunned expression.

“May I ask why you are curious about Mr. Ren’s personal life?”

“I’ve been around Starla too much, taking in all of the office gossip; curiosity, nothing more.” You jest.

Margaret laughed.

“Why Lauren chose that gingerbread man over Mr. Ren, I will never know.”

“Gingerbread man?” You say with a funny expression.

“Hux has red hair, too. I never liked him. Hux was a snooty asshole who thought himself above everyone, in my opinion. Mr. Ren was the better man, but now he has changed since that time. Breaks my heart that he was treated poorly by her. If I was thirty years younger, I would have made him forget about Lauren.” Margaret adds as she winks with a sly grin. You laugh in amusement.

“Thank you, for everything.” You say as you leave with what you came for.

****

It was Friday, and on your lunch break, you received a call from one of the businesses that you had applied to.

“While you’re a good candidate on paper, we have some concerns regarding our talk with your current boss.” The woman from the job that you were hoping to acquire, said.

“What do you mean? Why did you have to speak with him?”

“He called us, actually. We found it rather disturbing, in a round about way he threatened our company. We’re sorry, but we take pride in our company, and cannot run the risk of bringing someone into our establishment with their current employer threatening us. I hope you can understand.”

“Yes, of course. Thank you for having considered me.”

You hang up from the call and as you do so, you peer up to the fourth story office window. There, stands Kylo, looking down at you, under his ever watchful gaze.

Fear grips you on the inside. He knows that you are trying to leave him.

****  
You did not return back to work that day. You called in to another department of the company, and told them that you had to take an emergency leave.

When you returned to your apartment, you bolted the door and as the door was locked, you turned around pressing your back against the door as you slowly slid down as you begin to sob.

You were very angry. Angry that Kylo has made you feel this way, and angry for feeling afraid and like you are helpless. Then, when the tears had subsided, you decided it was time to confront the source of your anger.

You arrived at Kylo’s town home around 7, that night.

You banged profusely against the door, not caring if any neighbors heard.

Kylo opened the door to find a very pissed off woman on his door step.

You barged your way in.

“Where the fuck do you get off on sabotaging my prospects at another job?”

You were not sure what you were hoping to achieve by this confrontation. Clearly, you were not thinking straight, but you were pissed off and even if you could not physically win at least you could verbally assault him.

“I was unaware that you were unhappy with First Order.” His tone sounded dark.

“You’re right, I’m not happy working there. I’ve had a change of heart.”

“You’re not happy with me.” Kylo reiterates for you.

“No. I don’t enjoy being brutalized during relations.” You start to cry as your anger wells up within you.

“I begged you to stop, and you wouldn’t.” You unleash.

Kylo still makes no effort to acknowledge nor apologize for what he had done to you, that night.

“I know about Lauren. I found the photo, in your desk. You dressed me up as her? You’re sick!”

Kylo stands there, his gaze intense; doesn’t blink and he doesn’t waver. He looks rather haughty in his manner.

“Let’s talk.” He states.

You are on the defense, and you watch as he walks over to the bar and pours you and him a drink. You, red wine and for himself - a glass of bourbon; his usual drink of choice.

“I have nothing to say to you.” You state as he hands you the glass of wine and you take a hard swig of the red liquid.

Kylo gives you an arrogant smirk that you just want to knock off of his face.

“Women always have something to bitch about, especially to a man.”

Your eyes narrow.

“You look so much like her.” Kylo lets his thoughts slip as he reaches to caress your cheek as if he is transfixed and not present in the moment. You recoil from his impending touch.

“You’re not allowed to leave me, not this time. This time, things will be different.” Kylo tells you in a matter of fact way.

Your eyes widen at this implication.

You suddenly start to feel woozy; you drop the glass of wine, the red liquid spilling onto the hardwood floor as the glass shatters around your feet.

Your eyes flutter, and you struggle to remain coherent as the last image that you see before your eyes close to darkness, is Kylo looming in front of you.

****  
When you come to, you’re still feeling groggy. There is instrumental music playing in the bedroom, and it is what helped to stir you awake. When you realize your situation, you start to panic. You find yourself tied to a bed - Kylo’s bed, no doubt. Fabric restraints bind your wrists, one arm tethered to each post, found at the head of the bed. In front of the bed sits a dresser with an attached mirror. 

Your eyes blaze with horror when you see yourself wearing that same black dress, from the cabin - Lauren’s dress. At first, you think he has placed the red wig back onto you, but as you shake your head you realize that it is your hair that has been dyed red, not a wig. You start to scream, but the music playing drowns your screams of anguish.


	6. My Fantasy Has Turned To Madness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> By day four of your captivity, you were desperate and would try anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note to readers: There is reference to miscarriage in this chapter, in case this is a subject that may be sensitive for you

The digital clock on Kylo’s night stand reads 11:00 p.m. You had drifted in and out of consciousness, while still suffering the effects of whatever it was that was placed in the wine, that Kylo had given to you to drink.

You knew Kylo would have to return to his room at some point, in order to sleep.

Not long after thinking that thought, the door knob turned. You held your breath as Kylo entered into the room.

You were the picture of disheveled venerability. The eyeliner and mascara that you were wearing are now smudged from your tears.

You watch as Kylo walks toward you, carrying a bowl in his hand. You start to panic, fearing it is laced with more knock-out drugs.

“Shhh.” Kylo tries to hush you, when you begin to make little whimpering noises.

Kylo sits the bowl down onto the bed, and you see the contents - ice cream. Kylo proceeds to try and offer you some, but you turn your head away as he brings the spoon to your mouth.

“You need to eat.” He tells you.

Tears start to trickle down your cheeks.

“There’s nothing in it; just ice cream.”

Still, you refuse.

Kylo firmly, but gently, grabs your jaw and forces you to accept the spoonful of ice cream.

“There, that’s not so bad.” He coos at you.

You continue to refuse to acknowledge him.

Finally, when you arms are nearly numb, you speak to him.

“Please, release me. My arms hurt. I can barely feel them.”

Kylo looks at you and considers your request.

You’re feeling a glimmer of hope when Kylo moves to undo your restraints.

You rub and flex your hands after they are released.

“I need to go to the bathroom.” You tell him.

Kylo gestures to the door situated over by the left hand corner of the room.

You move from the bed, and walk over to the bathroom. You realize it is pointless to lock the door as Kylo could easily break down the door. You quickly search the bathroom for anything that you could use as a weapon, but alas, there is nothing. You find a single disposable razor, but it is nothing that you think would make an impact. Dejected, you use the restroom and return to your boss - now turned captor.

Kylo is sitting on the edge of the bed, looking down at your phone. You realize he has confiscated it.

“I never did like Starla. She is too nosy. Too talkative.” Kylo informs you.

“She wants to know why you are not answering her.” Kylo smiles at you.

Kylo is texting Starla as ‘you’.

“I didn’t think you would be the type to kiss and tell.” Kylo adds.

You look at him, puzzled.

“Starla must like to talk about my personal life.” Kylo muses as he scrolls through your prior text conversations with her.

“Kylo, you cannot keep me locked away. Someone will come looking for me.”

“I can, I have, and I will.” He bluntly replies.

“It just so happens… that you have found a new job, out of town, and you are moving, immediately.” Kylo implies as he finishes his message to Starla.

Your heart bottoms and fear sets in at an even grander scale.

“It will be easier to break the friendship when you two drift apart due to the fact that you are now busy with your new job, and several miles away.” Kylo tells you the envisioned plan.

“Kylo, please. Don’t do this! I know you are a good man, deep down. Lauren hurt you, and it is unfortunate, but there are so many other women who would love you like you want and need to be love.”

Kylo looks up at you and his eyes narrow.

“Those women are not you. ” He states.

At this point, you are not sure if Kylo is taking about you or Lauren.

Kylo stands, then walks over to you. Your body freezes. His hands come to rest around your waist as he nuzzles against your neck, softly moving to kiss alongside your throat.

“It will be just the two of us, again. I will give you everything you desire.” He confesses.

“I desire to go home.” You tell him.

“You are home, baby.” He informs you.

You swallow hard as you feel his mouth at the center of your throat.

Kylo pulls back and looks into your eyes as his fingers play with your newly dyed red hair. You realize Kylo’s fantasy has now become his reality as he sees his ex-wife, in you.

You now know that you have two options. Either resist and risk the consequences or delve into this fantasy of madness.

Kylo starts to kiss you passionately, and his touches are becoming firmer. You fear that this is leading up to a similar event as to what had transpired that night at the cabin.

“Kylo, please. I don’t like it when you’re rough.” You tell him, thinking quickly. If he sees you as his wife, and if what Margaret had said was true, Lauren liked to be dominated.

“You like it rough.” Kylo hissed in your ear.

“No. I was wrong. I liked how it used to be, when you were gentle and loving. I realized that I was wrong.” You react quickly, hoping this will register with his fantasy madness.

Kylo relents and kisses you softly. You can breathe a sigh of relief.

“It’s getting late and I have to be at work, early.” Kylo informs.

Kylo leads you over to the bed. He dims the lights as he pulls back the covers and gestures for you to get into the bed.

You have no choice but to comply, and so, you climb into the bed.

Kylo pulls you against his body as he rests his face and nuzzles against your neck. He will remain there til morning.

You don’t know when, but at some point, you fell asleep in your captor’s arms. When you awoke, it was already morning and Kylo was already gone.

It was futile, but you tried. You bolted for the door only to find that it was locked, from the outside. You are a prisoner in Kylo Ren’s bedroom.

Kylo had placed a mini fridge into the bedroom, and he had stocked it with water and some snack foods for you, while he was away at work.

You were fairly certain, come mid-morning, that you were descending into madness, yourself, by being locked up in this room.

In your boredom, you searched the two closets in the bedroom. The left one contained Kylo’s clothing, while the right closet contained items that had belonged to Lauren.

You riffled through the contents. You learned that she liked designer clothing and at the bottom of the closet, you found a large storage box that contained numerous photos of the couple. Many had been ripped in half, removing Kylo from Lauren’s side. There were a couple of pics showing Kylo and Lauren dancing.

Judging by the photos it seemed that Lauren was in control of the relationship as Kylo looked to be happily ‘enslaved’ to her.

At the far end of the closet, in a large garment bag, you discovered Lauren’s wedding dress.

Noon time rolled around, and Kylo came home on his lunch break to check on you. You were actually (albeit, momentarily) delighted to see another soul when Kylo walked through that bedroom door.

Kylo inquired, asking if you had eaten or drank anything. He brought you a bag of take out.

You pleaded with him to release you, that you were going to go mad being locked up. Kylo reassured you, but you wanted to hear nothing of the sort. Finally, Kylo had to return to work and so he kissed you as he retreated out of your ‘cell’ and locked the door behind him. You banged against the door as you sobbed.

****  
Day three of your imprisonment…

You had all day to come up with a plan, on how to get away from your captor. Three days have passed, and you were going out of your mind.

Every evening, when Kylo returned from work, he would bring you food. He would accompany you in the shower, and on the second night of you captivity, he took you twice that night. He wasn’t rough, he remained gentle, but you were disgusted and just laid there, letting him use your body for his twisted pleasure. During one of his orgasms, he called you by her name.

****

By day four of your captivity, you were desperate and would try anything.

“Kylo, I need to talk to you. It is very important.” You say to him as he had just returned from work.

He greets you as he always does, since holding you in captivity. Kylo kisses you like a lover that has been separated too long from his significant other.

You tell yourself you half to do this, it is the only chance to make an escape.

“What is it?” Kylo asks as he searches your eyes and smiles at you.

“I believe I am pregnant.” You state.

Kylo’s eyes widen and there is a long pause of silence.

“Are you…upset?” You ask, feigning concern about his reaction.

Kylo’s lips subtly tremble as he seizes your mouth with his, kissing you passionately.

“I’m late, and I’m never late. I forgot my pills when we went to the cabin.” You spin your lie to him.

Kylo lowers himself down onto his knees and his hands push up your shirt, exposing your belly. He kisses along your stomach as if he was religiously worshiping.

“I need to go to the doctor, to be certain.”

“Yes, of course. I’ll make you an appointment on Monday.” He tells you. It was now Friday, and that was too long to wait.

If you thought Kylo was clingy before, after you had told him your pregnancy lie, he remained a constant at your side while at home. You hardly had any breathing room.

Later that night when you went to the bathroom, you thought up a scheme that might just actually work. You take the disposable razor you found, and you knick your inner thigh, causing you to bleed and you smear the blood onto your panties. Next, you rush back to the bed and start shaking Kylo awake, frantically calling for his attention.

“Kylo! I’m bleeding, it’s the baby! I need to go to the hospital, now!” You rant at him urgently.

Kylo panics when he sees the blood stain and he frantically helps you dress as he rushes you to the car. Your plan is to get to the hospital and tell the staff that you are being held hostage.

On the way to the hospital Kylo turns to you, and tells you something oddly - “I will not let this happen to you, to us, again.”

You infer that Lauren must have suffered a miscarriage during their marriage at some point. You feel awful for such a lie, but you are desperate. The remainder of the drive, you wonder if that was the event (apart from the affair) that put into motion the dissolution of their marriage. Did suffering such a loss, tear them apart and drive Kylo to this mental breakdown?

****  
The receptionist at the front desk kept Kylo preoccupied with all of the admittance paper work. You were quickly rushed into an examining room. When the the nurse arrived on scene, she was less than polite with you.

“Mrs. Ren, you suspect that you are having a miscarriage?”

“Listen to me - that man, Kylo Ren, he is holding me hostage! I had to lie in order to escape; he was holding me captive in his bedroom. Please! You must call the police!”

“You are Lauren Ren, correct?” The nurse states as she gives you a funny look.

“No! That is his ex-wife’s name. Kylo has had some sort of mental breakdown and he thinks that I am his wife.” You flail your arms about as you speak, looking dramatic.

The nurse’s eyes widen, and you can tell that she thinks you are the one that has gone mental.

“Please, you have to believe me. I had to lie about having a miscarriage in order to get him to take me out of the house.”

The nurse takes a closer look at your bare thighs as you were made to disrobe when you entered the examining room. She notices the cut that you had made with the razor.

“Do you self harm to get your husband's attention?” She asks.

“What? No!”

“Stay here, Mrs. Ren. The doctor will be here shortly to speak with you.”

Frustrated as fuck, you wait a few seconds after the nurse leaves the room as you re-dress and slip out of the room, taking extra precaution not to be seen by anyone, especially - Kylo.

You had managed to swipe your phone while on your way out of the house. Kylo had been careless, and left it lying on the dresser.

As you exit through the back of the hospital , you run down the street as your fingers fumble to contact Starla.

You call her repeatedly, but there is no answer. Finally, after the sixth call, you leave a voice mail.

“Starla! I need help! Kylo has been holding me hostage! I’ve just escaped and I need a place to hide. Where are you?!”

You end your message as you try to navigate the dark streets of the city. You sprint down the streets, but soon found yourself to be growing tired. You reach Starla's apartment complex about forty minutes after making your escape from the hospital.

You take the elevator to the fifth floor and you stop at Starla’s door and you rasp loudly against it.

A few seconds later, the door slowly swings open, and you rush in in a frantic tirade.

“Thank god! Call the police, he’s…” You storm Starla’s apartment.

Your eyes widen in horror as you find Starla in her living room, bound to a chair with a gag in her mouth as her eyes grow wide with fright at what lies behind you.

You hear the creaking sound of the front door closing.

You turn around to see Kylo standing there, blocking the only way out.


	7. Stay. Oh, There's No Alternative

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You’re shaking and distraught as you watch the scene unfold before your very eyes.

“How could you lie about carrying my child?” Kylo’s voice was gruff as he started moving toward you.

Panic set in and tears started to fall. Kylo had cornered you against the wall, his fingers laced within your hair as he jerked you backwards, slamming you against the wall, knocking the breath out of you.

“Answer me!” He bellows as he slaps you across your face.

You close your eyes and sob.

“I’m sorry.” Is all you can offer, but it is not enough.

Kylo leaves you, and walks over to where Starla is bound to the chair. Kylo grabs Starla by her hair, and pulls back on her head.

“Kylo, please! You’re angry at me, don’t hurt her!” You scurry half way toward Starla.

“Please! Do what you want with me, just spare her.”

Starla’s eyes are filled with tears as she silently sobs.

Kylo stares at you.

“We’re leaving.” Kylo issues as he releases Starla from his hold.

He grabs you by the arm and starts pulling you toward the door, you look back in haste, glancing at Starla one last time. At least she would be safe and when Mike returns home, he will find her.

You, on the other hand, you’re not sure if anyone will ever find you, after tonight.

****  
Kylo is rough with you; he shoves you into the car. You have no idea where he is taking you, it is still dark outside. You drive for what seemed like hours, only to discover you are approaching a lake house in a stretch of woods.

Kylo forces you out of the car and into the house. There, he ties you to the bed.

“What do I have to do, to make you love me?” Kylo asks in a sullen tone.

“I’m not Lauren, Kylo!” You reply in defiance.

“There was a time where I was everything to you. I want that, again.” Kylo tells you as his hand softly caresses the side of your face. At first contact, you flinch, afraid he will strike you again.

You can see it in his eyes that his mind is no longer rooted in reality.

“Kylo, please. Don’t do this, please.” You plead with tears.

“Say that you love me, and no one else.” Kylo tells you as his eyes dominate yours in their stare.

You stare into his eyes and contemplate your answer. Your heart breaks for this man, who only wanted the love of his wife, and how the failure of his marriage led him into an abysmal descent.

For your own safety, you decided that it was best to play along at least, until you could find another opportunity to escape.

“Yes, Kylo. I love you, and only you. I was wrong for what I have done. I realize that, now.”

Kylo kisses you and you do not resist.

“Please, release me.” You plead with your eyes.

Kylo unties your wrists from the restraints.

You curl up on your side as Kylo lies behind you; his arm around you, holding you against him. He kisses down your neck. 

“I want you with my child.” He whispers to you. Your eyes open with lightning speed.

“Kylo.” You say his name, not knowing what else to say; you are rendered speechless.

Kylo’s touches have turned gentle against your body. You knew there was no way out of this, you were going to have to submit and hope that after tonight he does not impregnate you.

Despite your attempted escape and lying to him about a pregnancy, Kylo is very gentle with you when he takes you.

Kylo held you in his arms after the act was completed. The both of you drifted off to sleep. You were exhausted as it was, and you needed to rest if you were going to plan an escape.

Approaching dawn, you woke up and quietly slipped out of bed. Your intention was to go to the bathroom, but when you realized Kylo did not stir after your departure from the bed, you decide to make a run for it.

You got as far as downstairs and not knowing the layout of the house, when you heard Kylo in pursuit as he yelled for you.

You run into a bedroom and brace the door, placing a chair wedged under the door knob. Kylo is beating against the door as you try to shimmy your way through the room’s window. Kylo breaks the door down and grabs you by your ankles, just as you were nearly out of the window and pulls you partially back into the room. Your hands are gripping the windowsill and you kick with all of your might. 

Finally, you managed to break free from Kylo’s hold when you got a clear kick to his face. You fell down onto the ground, onto your knees, and then scurried into the thick woods that surround the house.

It is barely daylight, and you have no idea where you are at. All you knew was that you had to get away from Kylo.

You ran deeper into the woods, finding yourself disoriented and listening for any sound and sight of Kylo.

You do not know how long you were out in the woods, but you mange to circle back around to the house. You gamble on the fact that Kylo must be out in the woods, still in pursuit of you. You approached the house quietly and cautiously. You peer into the windows for any sight of Kylo. When you deem it safe, you return inside of the house and frantically search for a phone.

You find yourself in the living room. There was no phone in the living room, nor kitchen. Your hope was dying.

You hear a noise, one that sounds like footsteps and you quickly turn around to find Kylo standing in the door way, now wielding a rather large knife. Fear paralyzes you.

Unbeknownst to you, Kylo had no intention to kill you; he wielded the knife only to intimidate you into compliance, into submission.

“Kylo, please! Don’t do this! I beg you!” You pleaded as you find yourself now cornered against the wall, one arm outstretched with your hand splayed as if to keep a barrier between you and him, the other hand pressed up against the wall.

“Kylo.” Came the soft voice of a woman, from behind him. Your eyes dart toward the source.

The two of you turn toward the direction of the voice.

“Let her go.” The woman instructs.

You look at Kylo as his eyes are transfixed as if hypnotized by the red haired woman. You knew this to be Lauren. Kylo’s lips tremble and he looks as if a flood of emotions are about to seize him.

“Let her go. It is me that you want, not her.”

Lauren signals for you to move, and you hastily make your way over to the front door. There, you see that police officers have the house surrounded.

Lauren is now standing in front of Kylo. Kylo reaches his hand as if to place it on the side of her cheek, but he hesitates; his hand suspended as his eyes well up with tears as he searches Lauren’s eyes.

“You’ve come back to me.” Kylo says in a choked whisper

“No, Kylo. I’ve come here to save you from yourself.”

Kylo’s demeanor changes.

“Stay with me.” Kylo asks.

“I can’t.” Lauren tells him.

“I still love you. I have never stopped loving you.” You see Kylo shed his first tears.

Kylo leans into Lauren as he moves to kiss her, the kiss almost looks chaste as if Kylo is unsure how to perform a kiss, and when he pulls away, Lauren looks Kylo in the eyes and whispers to him -“Kylo, you know that I love another.”

In that moment, Kylo looks shattered and it happens so quickly that you are unaware of the act until Kylo pulls back, pulling the knife from Lauren’s side. Kylo had stabbed her.

You scream, and the room is suddenly rushed by police officers.

Everything feels like it is operating in slow motion. Kylo’s eyes look hollow and devoid of his soul as he looks down at his ex-wife, bleeding out onto the floor. Kylo is quickly slammed to the ground by three officers, who place him under arrest.

Lauren is writhing in pain on the floor.

You’re shaking and distraught as you watch the scene unfold before your very eyes.

****  
Lauren survived the stabbing. Kylo is being held in a facility and his possible and eventual release is pending, if he can pass the rigorous mental evaluations and heavy therapy sessions, from the various doctors that oversee his case and care.

Starla had called the police when Mike came home and found her bound and gagged. The police got in touch with Lauren, and she provided the information that led them to track you at Kylo’s lake house, the house that he used to share with Lauren. The police had come to search the property, and found that there had been signs of a disturbance, when Kylo pursued you in the woods. 

Given Kylo’s mental state due to his ex-wife, they thought that Lauren coming in to ‘negotiate’ with Kylo, would be the best way to get him to surrender.

****  
You visit Kylo every day, after work. The chief doctor had told you that Kylo did not have the intentions to kill Lauren when he snapped; he wanted to kill the emotional pain, the source of his hurt when she told him that she loved another and no longer loved him.

The first time that you had visited Kylo at the facility, after his arrest, you saw a shell of a man. Kylo would sit in a cushioned chair and stare out the window into the distance as you observed him. At first, he would not speak to you; he seemed to be in another world, lost in his thoughts. You continued to talk to him, nonetheless.

Upon that first visit, you approached Kylo with caution. You had dyed your hair back to its natural color, and you had asked Kylo if he knew who you were. Kylo said your name.

By the second visit, you knew that you couldn’t leave him alone; this had been one of his unspoken fears. You had decided that that was going to be your last visit; you would be moving away and putting this all behind you to start a new life. 

Until, it pulled on your heartstrings as if Kylo had sensed it, that you would not be returning when he looked up at you with his sullen brown eyes and pleaded - “I’m sorry. Please don’t leave me.” Kylo turns his head away from you and is back to staring out of the window, once more.

“I won’t leave you, Kylo.” You reassure him as you place your hand over top of his.

Kylo’s eyes dart down to look at your hand covering his, and he smiles fondly.


	8. Kylo's Rehabilitation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> True to your word, you did not abandon Kylo...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those who need a little extra :) Btw, I know nothing about how therapy sessions are conducted, so this is not intended to be accurate :0]

5 months after Kylo’s arrest…

True to your word, you did not abandon Kylo. You just couldn’t. He had no one else, and to leave him locked up in a facility seemed cruel. Yes, he had done some awful things, but what he needed was someone to bestow compassion. He had so much love for a single person that it drove him to a breakdown.

Kylo consented to you being his caretaker,; meeting with the doctors and therapist and deciding on his treatment. You hadn’t planned on this and you were reluctant, but the doctors gave you hope that Kylo could overcome and heal from this breakdown, and so, you thought it would be worth the time and effort.

After 6 months of intense therapy, Kylo was allowed off grounds. At first, an undercover guard accompanied the two of you, until Kylo was deemed safe when alone with you.

You wouldn’t admit it, but you carried pepper spray and a stun gun in your purse, just in case. You tried to see the best in him, but you watched him carefully for any subtle hints that he could be relapsing.

You finally convinced Kylo to sell his lake house. You had devoted so much time to his care that you had to take a part time job instead of full time, and you gave up your apartment only to move into his town home. You were hoping that this is something that you wouldn’t come to regret down the road.

You were asked to report to the doctors and therapist, in regards to Kylo’s behavior while he is alone with you. They asked you if he ever referred to you by the name of Lauren. You told them that he hasn’t mentioned her, not once.

They saw this as a good sign. The therapist would record the sessions with Kylo, and allowed you to listen to them. One particular session was the hardest, and it was a test of Kylo’s mental strength to re-live and come to terms with what had happened. It also stirred up a heavy sense of guilt with the lie that you had told him about being pregnant.

(tape audio)

Therapist: “Mr. Ren, when was the moment that you think your marriage was in trouble?”

Kylo: “The night that Lauren miscarried.”

Therapist: “It wasn’t when you found your wife engaging in the affair?”

(Kylo remains silent for several seconds)

Kylo: “No. Our marriage died the day our child did. She didn’t listen to me. I told her not to wear those damn shoes; she was running late, in a hurry, and she fell down the stairs. She kept saying she was alright. I urged her to go to the hospital, but she resisted. Later that night she woke to a pool of blood on the bed and severe pain. It was already too late.”

Tears started to flood your eyes.

Therapist: “Did you try to have another child, after the miscarriage?”

Kylo: “No. I blamed her for our child’s death. She wanted nothing more to do with me. It was already difficult for her to conceive and after… she no longer could, or so, the doctor had told her that she couldn’t. I blamed her for ruining our happiness. I was going to be a father, and because of her carelessness, I lost my son. And then, she becomes pregnant after the affair and now he has the wife and child that should have been rightfully mine!”

You heard the bitterness in Kylo’s voice. You stopped the recording as you collected yourself. You felt deep sympathy for Kylo. You could imagine why his state of mind turned the way it did. He had practically lost everything that he had ever loved and felt alone, like he was being punished.

****  
9 months since Kylo’s arrest…

“Kylo seems to have made great progress. He has not shown any signs of delusion, he has responded well to therapy and treatment. I think he may be allowed to return home. He will remain on probation and for the next two years, he will have to continue therapy and see a counselor twice a week, but other than that, Kylo should assimilate back into a daily routine of life.” The doctor imparts the good news.

You are the one to tell Kylo, that he will be coming home.

****  
A week has passed since Kylo was released from the facility. You kept a careful watch, but you were more at ease. Kylo was attentive and caring toward you.

There was one thing that Kylo kept hidden from you. Every night, you would fall into a deep sleep. That is because Kylo, had been lacing your drinks with sleeping pills.

Each night, he would curl up next to you in bed while you were essentially dead to the world. There, he would place the long, red wig on you, and gently caress the side of your neck as he whispered his hopes and wishes to you.

“This time, I will do things right. You’ll see. You will learn to love me once more. I know you will, my sweet Lauren.” He would whisper to you as he kisses the side of your neck and twirls the red hair around his finger, and Kylo would smile as he lovingly looked on at your sedated body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, Kylo may be crazy, but he isn't stupid. He doesn't want to remain locked up, so, in order to continue his delusional fantasy, he must carry on without getting caught :->


End file.
